My bf is in another country now,want him to quit smoking but he is waiting till...? -
we be together and quit, Do i belive him? we call and chat almost everyday and i do trust him so is he , we are very honest with each other, yesterday i told him i want you to be in a good health and at least i didnt say me or smoking he said please don-t, i really love him so is he .
I just need him to quit i hate smoking and its not healthy at all plus he has heart problems i fear ending up with serious big problems! I love him and i do care about him alot so shall i wait till we be together in 2 years or gent;y tell him to keep trying now??help?
TERA answered the question beautifully.
In addition, you must remember that 80% of smokers want to quit. Almost all of them say they will quit sometime in the future. If they are going to quit in the future, why don-t they quit now? Do they think it will be easier in the future, when they-ve had a few more months or years of addiction? No, they surely know that it will be harder. They just don-t want to address it now, and having a nebulous plan to quit sometime in the future allows them to avoid confronting it now.
You are probably not going to logically reason your b/f out of smoking. He didn-t start smoking for logical reasons. He didn-t start smoking in anticipation of a lifetime of addiction and efforts to quit.
Nagging won-t help, threatening won-t help. You have to be his parner in the quitting process. Recognize also that he will probably quit about six times before it finally sticks. And the urge to smoke will never go away. I personally know three people who quit smoking in their twenties and started again 25 years later.
Smoking is probably the hardest addiction to overcome. Many alcoholics and drug addicts are able to quit these habits and still can-t give up cigarettes. They are powerfully addictive, physically and psychologically. It-s great that you care so much about his health. Just realize that it-s going to be very, very hard for him to quit. The damage that smoking causes is usually very slow...takes years to progress...so it-s easy for a smoker to live in denial about the serious risks to their health. The best thing you can do is to encourage him toward quitting in a loving way. Maybe you can give him literature on the subject, or a book on it...remind him that you love him and you just don-t want his health to suffer. But don-t nag at him...try not to make him feel ashamed that he has this addiction. It-s not about a lack of will power or a moral issue, he doesn-t have a weak character. Addiction is a disease. You wouldn-t shame a diabetic for having diabetes. And you can-t force him to quit. All you can do is be encouraging (in a positive way). Good luck!