Would like my boyfriend to quit smoking pot part 1? -
Hi all,
my boyfriend and i have been togetther for 27 months. he is a heavy pot smoker and so is the rest of his family, he has been smoking for over a decade and in the first couple of months it wasnt an issue, it became an issue when it start to effect our relationship e.g late to see a movie session because he had to have cones...
we fight about this topic all the time some times i just shut my mouth for peace sake and when it because an issue and i cant deal with it anymore then i tell him,
i realise i cant force him to quit, i realise that for most of his life he has known no different as his family,
I really love him but hate the choices he makes, he has a drug addict that he admits to and admited that he is scared of who he might become with out the drug in his system.
He even suggested rehab, but that fell through.
i even said i would pay for him to go with my savings... i dont care how much money ti cost to stop i just want him too.. but i cant force him to..
Wow, well me an experienced pot smoker.
well yea it is hard to quit, but u kno wat. it can be done.
I only did it for like 4 or 7 times and with only those tries. it screwed me up. I literally had no memory at all so i feel wat ur bf is going thru. its not his fault that he shows up late. because since u said 10 years?
wow he must really be addicted to it and have a bad memory,
well what i suggest u do is that u guys should move out where u guys live.
get into a new place
and start fresh
go live somewhere where u know that he will not be able to get pot.
or just threatnen him be like - if u dont stop smoking pot- then its over.
tell him wat he picks .. weed or u.
oh god no.. dont take him to rehab. they do not work trust me
with all the money in the world that u pay it will not help him one bit. trust me
good luck and i wish u and him the best.!
Read Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis. Then you-ll know how drugs affect people. This is from the book from the first time he went into any kind of rehab (the Salvation Army in Grand Rapids, MI).
-But as I sat in that meeting, I felt something in the room that made sense to me. It was nothing but a bunch of guys like me, helping one another get off drugs and find a new way of life. I was keen on discovering the loophole, but there wasn-t one. I thought, -Oh my God, these people are coming from the same place as me, but they don-t get high anymore, and they don-t look desperate, and they-re joking about **** that most people would send you to jail for talking about. One girl got up and started talking about not being able to stop smoking crack even though she had a kid. She-d had to give her kid to her mother. I was thinking, -Yeah, I-d do the same. I-d be leaving the kid with the mom and disappearing. That-s the same thing I did with my band.-
He has to want to quit on his own. Yuo can urge him but he dont push too hard. Sounds to me like you need to get out of that relationship and move on.
I am almost positive that a person doesn-t become addicted to pot. I-m sure it gets boring babysitting your boyfriend after a while. Tell him that his smoking habits are unhealthy and that you-ll help him quit. Find other fun things to do together BEFORE he gets high and keep him out for as long as possible, that way when he gets home maybe he-ll go straight to bed from being tired out from your date. I-ve smoked quite a few times, and it-s really fun the first couple times. However, it gets boring after a while. Show him how much more fun he could be having with new experiences!
if his family smokes its gonna be next to impossible.
my brother is a recovering addict. right now he has 9 months and is living a rehabilitation house.
he HAS to get away from family and friends that will give him that temptation to smoke if he wants to be succesful. absolute MUST.
your also absolutly right, if he doenst want to quit he wont.
if you can afford it, move him (and yourself if at all possible) out of the neighborhood, far enough away from those he knows that he cant visit them, and start getting him involved in A.A.
ask him to quit or throw him to the curb what else is there to do like you said you cant force him to do it
you just said it...you can-t force him to...you can-t make him change. Only he can. If this is something you can-t live with then consider the fact that it might be time for you to move on. It has nothing to do with love. If you continue to compromise on you own personal beliefs, then how do you expect to have what you want in life?
reminds me of my ex.
yeah, anyway, if he loved you, hed stop for you.
but if he stops immeaditly, he will probably become susicidal.
give him a reason to stop.
if you aren-t enough, it-s time to end the relationship.
honestly, you need to look at yourself in this situation. You chose a drug addict, you-ve know all along that he is one. You have to either love him for who he is drugs and all or find someone new. YOu are right you can-t force him, and he-s not going to do it for you. He will only do it if he wants to. Maybe you should start going t o Alanon and learn why you are attracted to a drug addict in the first place.
I have had a few friends that quit and everyone of them, me especially, have become better people. The one thing that scared me was I went back to my parents house one day and all of my buddies that I grew up with that still smoked pot, still live at home with their parents. They are like over the age of 25!!! It made me think, thank goodness I quit when I finished high school. I don-t hang out with those guys anymore, because it depressed me seeing them beg their parents for money, to hang out with me.