How do I get my teenage son to quit smoking? -
Wow, I-m sorry to hear that he-s smoking. I started smoking when I was 12 when they still sold to minors thinking we were getting them for our parents. I also started drinking beer shortly thereafter. I didn-t try pot until after my freshman year in High School. I never really did any of these things to excess, but many of the people I knew did.
What finally got me to quit was my roommate during my freshman year in college (18 years old). I had elected to have a smoking roomie because I wanted to be able to smoke in the room. But she smoked a lot more than me and they were menthol and the whole room reeked and it made me sick. So for me, it was over-exposure to smoke. On the other hand, I kept drinking and getting high sometimes. It took a while before I realized that these were also a waste of time and money.
Now I have a son who-s 14. His dad died of alcohol and drug abuse before he turned 40. My son has seen first hand the negative effects of drugs and alcohol, and he does group cigarettes in the same classification as alcohol and drugs. I started talking to him about it at a very young age, and continue to do so. He now has friends who smoke, drink and get high. He tries to get them to quit.
But sometimes my son says that he believes it-s his destiny to follow in his father-s footsteps because he-s so much like him in other ways. My response is that the traits he shares with his father are inherited - like his body-s build, and his hairy legs and even his voice and facial expressions -- but I tell him that his behavior is his choice and the only thing that he really has control over, so he does NOT have to follow his father-s path.
I suggest that you start by considering your son-s motivation to smoke. Does he do it to fit in or look cool? or is he rebelling against you and trying to piss you off? If it-s the first reason - that he-s looking for a group where he feels like he belongs, try to encourage his interests that might keep him too busy to have time to smoke. My son LOVES basketball, so he has his friends there and they don-t smoke because it could hurt their game (although some of them drink and/or get high occasionally), so for the most part, he-s accepted in that group. It may take an investment of time and money on your part - but he-s your son! I recall when my son tried-out for an AAU traveling team a year ago. One of his oldest friends tried-out too, and he played quite well. This was one of the kids that my son was trying to get to quit smoking and partying (he would hang out and drive around with 18 year-olds and he was only 14). His mom wouldn-t let him join the team, because it would cost around $400.00 over the course of the season. My son was really upset that this woman would choose to allow her son to smoke and get in cars with 18 year-olds, as opposed to spending a few hundred dollars to help him get involved in a healthy activity! She wouldn-t have had to drive that often, because we were right in the same neighborhood - I-d have provided transportation. But anyway, I digress... (sorry)
If your son-s motivation comes from rebelling against you, it will probably be harder for you to address. Pretty much anything you say will be tuned out, and he may want to defy you even more. His rebellion stems from a dynamic that-s been developing over several years, so it won-t go away overnight.
Start by being honest: I love you and it hurts me to see you smoking and doing harm to yourself. Then try to explore the motivation and possible acceptable alternatives from there. Don-t talk down to him, and don-t make demands. This is one situation where it will help to start treating him like he-s his own person. You and I know he-s got a long way to go, but remember how sure you were of things at that age and what fools you thought your parents were? So address him in a more mature manner, and he-ll be more likely to respond that way, rather than flying off on the defensive. I find that when we-re riding in the car is a good time for my son and I to talk. Not only is he a captive audience, there-s just something peaceful about riding down the road. If you suspect your son has some deeper self-esteem issues, then you may want to find him some counseling or group sessions to help the root cause of his somewhat self-destructive behavior. Be patient, let the love flow, and Good Luck!
YOU FIND THE ANSWER AND TELL ME CAUSE I AM HAVING THE SAME TROUBLE...
simple,
KICK HIS BUT!